Friday, September 7, 2012

My love relationship & its effect to me now

My friends frequently ask me about my love relationship. They sometimes find indirect way to ask me. Usually, I don't reply them. Often because those subject does a concern for many of those understand which I don't know. So I find a better answer “silent”. But is that lawful to keep my feeling with in me and myself? Definitely not. And this has inspired me to start a web-journal, where I can talk to my friends. I am very much thankful to my friends.

I shall begin with sincerity; I shall now be liable to my friends' questions, their tricks and indirect tactic to get answers from me. Truly, I have never experienced true and unconditional love except few exceptional cases. Which are natural and universal in fact. This comes from families with such a emotional difference that can't even be imagined. There exists a sincere love and that is what it should feel like. Often the subject of love arises and I complain that sexually-charged feeling that was present in the beginning of a relationship has dissipated and they want it back. They have mistaken their sexually-charged feelings for love, and without these feelings they know no way for the relationship to progress. So I keep silent.

Take an example, love relationship that we often see and may experience during adolescence. I suspect if it is really a love relationship. On other hand there is a individual understanding of love. One may easily suspect other if the second person understands the real meaning of love or not. But in fact both of them will be false. And the dispute or this gap may never be solved. When the relationship is new they (boy and girl) often ditch it to find another one. And further, is married, believe that the absence of their original, honeymoon feelings is a sign that the marriage is falling apart. Instead of going deeper into an intimacy, they have affairs, flee the marriage, or try to have an open marriage. Sadly, these individuals are at a loss about how to develop a deep intimate, spiritual love, and can't even imagine that there is a deeper, richer form of love. Even if they can imagine it because they have witnessed other peoples loving relationships they are terrified of risking vulnerability, or they mistakenly believe they don't deserve it. Even if the potential of a loving relationship is right at their doorstep, they don't know how to let it in.

Thus, I also have personal reasons for selecting love. Because of my own mistakes, mishaps, and misfortunes I have discovered a few things that I feel passionate about sharing with others. One topic is the importance of having a loving connection in my life, where I can freely and completely extend and receive love. Experiencing such a loving connection has allowed me to feel the energy, comfort, serenity, freedom, and the sense of coming home.

Thank you for reading my feelings. I hope that I am able to make you understand keeping account of your's valuable time. Please give me yours comment, opinion, thanks or crush in this regards.

This end is the beginning.

Asha Bashnet

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